Today a 9yo boy was killed in a horrible way. I was following this history with facebook and twitter since monday night when he disappeared.
I think I learned a big lesson from people reaction. When we hear something not good happened our first reaction is to blame. Blame us, others or even G-d but we always have to blame on something. I think is a human nature to have to find faults so it makes easier to deal with.
Chassidus teaches us a concept that is very but very hard to internalize, this is the basic of our everyday life. Its called ashgocha pratis(divine providence), this means Hashem is watching everyone and everything at every moment and anything that happens is because He wants to happen. This means nothings goes by without Him being in charge, but at the same time we have our free choice to do our own decisions.
There are various levels of not good things, very stupid things, some serious things, more serious and something like what happened to this boy(totally horrible). I'm not trying to equalize this levels but on all of them it happened because Hashem wanted to.
When for example someone loses his job, its good for the person to know the reason so he can learn but to keep blaming himself or a coworker is the wrong approach, this only will make him depressed. With everything we should learn from our experiences but know that it is ashgocha protis.
This boys history I'm not gonna try to explain why, because noone knows why it happened. But to blame the parents, or the boy is just useless. Hashem with His infinite wisdom knows why He let it happen, we can learn from it to maybe protect more our kids and just daven a lot for the family to find comfort. But blame only make things worst, I think is a way to don't accept that life is ruled by G-d and even when we try our best we can't control everything.
Today I was playing with my daughters and I started to think about this boys parents, I hugged Devorichka and I felt I can't protect her, because I can't watch her all the time, I can try to make my house safe and I can avoid as much as I can for accidents but this is as much I can do. There is someone above that is watching me and He can watch everyone all the times and He's the only one that can protect each one of us, we have to thrust Him.
My kids will grow and I'm trying hard to do my best to teach them and to protect them but as older as they get more they will become independent and less power I will have. I will be left with my power of prayer and I will know He is listening to it. Listening doesn't mean agreeing but He only does good and I have to thrust Him.
This is not an easy thing but I will try to when I hear or live not reveal good experiences remember this post. There is no one to blame but a lesson to be learned so we can grow.
I hope the Kletsky family will find consolation and strength to deal with this